Maybe We’re Wrong About Miley Cyrus


Ok, let me start off by saying that this isn’t something that I ever thought that I would find myself writing about. I know next to nothing about Ms. Cyrus, and I don’t really have any intention to get better acquainted with her body of work. I was too old by the time she was Hannah Montana, and frankly, with her “scene” and music, I find that we are just on different spectrums of the universe. I am writing this, because a vast majority of the media that pops up around me has to do with an event that she will forever be associated with: the so called “twerk heard round the world.” (As a disclaimer, I’m still not quite sure exactly what twerking is, but I’ve seen the VMA clip and it seems like twerking is just another version what used to be called grinding, or some girl rubbing her ass on some dude’s crotch). All of this comes when there are so many other things that need addressing. Our government is shut down, there’s a debt ceiling crisis, and even when things get up and running, there’s still that Syria debacle to deal with. Anyway, I wont waste much time talking about the personal affairs of some pop star, but I just had a few opinions to opine, so thanks for indulging me.

First of all, the idea of a child star having a meltdown before our public eyes is certainly not unprecedented. It famously happened to Shannon Dougherty, Drew Barrymore, McCauley Caulken, Brittney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and [most recently] Amanda Bynes. There have been many many more, but this is a large enough sample size to prove my point. All of these actors/mucians/whatever Amanda Bynes was famous for, had certain things in common. They all burned out on fame. They all turned to drugs and partying. Most of them got themselves into legal trouble, and then they faded away. Some of them never to be seen again in any meaningful way (McCauley and Shannon both failed at making comebacks). Some came back as mere shadows of their former glory (I think we can agree that Brittney is no longer the diva that we once heralded her as). Only Drew Barrymore truly got her shit together and is better because of her trials (it is still too soon to tell whether Lohan or Bynes will rebound), but still, there is very little common ground that these fallen angels have in common with one Miley Cyrus. As far as I know (and I really don’t), she is not being photographed out at all hours, partying with all the other celebutards, getting smashed and stoned, and crashing cars and flashing her twat, or releasing sex tapes, or getting arrested. The fact that the ISN’T going on, isn’t getting talked about, but as far as all the typical melt-down behavior goes, Cyrus is an incredibly well-behaved 20 yr old.

So, if she’s not destroying her life with drugs, alcohol, partying, and reckless sex, then what is it that everyone is so up-in-arms about? Well, she grinded on some old, Beetlejuice looking dude at the VMA’s. She can’t seem to keep her tongue in her mouth… like, at all. She made a really awful music video, where you didn’t exactly need much of an imagination to envision the atributes she didn’t inherit from her daddy. Then, she did a skeezy photo shoot with a photographer who most people would categorize as a borderline pedophile, and desecrated a can of Arizona Ice Tea in the process, baring all of her 20 year old perkiness. I just don’t think that this is much (or at all) different than what almost every teenager/twenty-something goes through at one time in their life or another.

It seems to me, that Miley Cyrus is exploring not only her sexuality, but her individuality for the first time. The difference between when we did it and how she’s doing it now, is that she lives in the public eye, and therefore is on display for the whole world to see… and judge. She grew up as this Disney pop icon, and now millions of people who don’t know the slightest thing about who she is, or how she sees herself are saying, “I liked you better when you were Hannah Montana.” But, she was NEVER Hannah Montana. People don’t seem to recognize that. I would doubt whether or not she even recognizes that. Like most kids her age, she wants to rebel against the preconceived notion of who she is, or who she feels like she has to be. It’s her way of trying to take a little bit of control over her life. And, on top of that, she doesn’t seem all angsty about it. She seems to be having the time of her life.

I can’t say for sure, since I don’t really go out of my way to know too much about her life, but I haven’t seen any interviews or articles where Miley complains about being the focus of so much attention and controversy. She lets all of the flack drip off of her, like water off a duck’s back. I don’t hear about her getting in silly fights with other celebrities, or with reporters. She doesn’t make a bunch of drama about being misunderstood, or cry about all of the pressure and negative attention. I don’t see her doing anything that anyone in their right mind has any true right to judge her for. Yeah, she danced strangely and provocatively. Yeah, she showed her tits in a non-tasteful manner. All I can say about that is, so what? She’s 20 years old. That means that she’s an adult, and no one other than her father really has any business judging her for it.

I mean, she’s a celebrity, so we (the public) get to judge everything she ever does and says, so I will conclude by saying this. Take away the spotlight and the publicity. Were you really that much different when you were discovering yourself? Maybe you did it earlier, like freshmen year of college, or later, in your mid-late 20’s, but come on, it’s all pretty much the same. Hell, I was out there, grinding up on girls in clubs. I was trying to get girls to send me naked pictures and trying to get them to let me have sex with them. I made fashion choices that I’ve lived to regret. Maybe she’ll regret the short hair, or letting someone take a picture of her humping a soda can, or the perennial “Jordan tongue.” Who cares? They’re her mistakes to make, and they certainly could be worse. Maybe she’s headed toward that road, where few return. How the hell should I know, but maybe it shouldn’t matter to us so much.

Now, can we please get back to important things, like figuring out how to get rid of EVERY SINGLE POLITICIAN IN WASHINGTON. These assholes are going to destroy everything, just so they can win their little pissing competition.

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